Anxiety can work in curious ways, and it will impact different relationships differently. Here's how to protect your relationship against anxiety. Learn about how generalized anxiety disorder can have a variety of negative effects on relationships, plus get tips for solving these issues. Read how generalized anxiety disorder can negatively impact your relationships, by causing you to become overly dependent or avoidant of.
However, our critical inner voice tends to terrorize and catastrophize reality. It will completely distort reality and undermine our own strength and resilience. Just put your guard up and never be vulnerable to anyone else.
When we feel anxious or insecure, some of us have a tendency to become clingy and desperate in our actions. We may feel possessive or controlling toward our partner in response. Conversely, some of us will feel easily intruded on in our relationships. We may retreat from our partners, detach from our feelings of desire.
How to Deal with Relationship Anxiety - PsychAlive
We may act out by being aloof, distant or guarded. These patterns of relating can come from our early attachment styles. Our attachment pattern is established in our childhood attachments and continues to function as a working model for relationships in adulthood. It influences how each of us reacts to our needs and how we go about getting them met. Different attachment styles can lead us to experience different levels of relationship anxiety.
You can learn more about what your attachment style is and how it impacts your romantic relationships here. What Thoughts Perpetuate Relationship Anxiety? The specific critical inner voices we have about ourselves, our partner and relationships are formed out of early attitudes we were exposed to in our family or in society at large.
'I Have Relationship Anxiety—Here's How It It Affects My Dating Life'
Sexual stereotypes as well as attitudes that our influential caretakers had toward themselves and others can infiltrate our point of view and shade our current perceptions. Critical Inner Voices about the Relationship People just wind up getting hurt.3 Mindset Shifts To STOP Relationship Anxiety
Relationships never work out. Men are so insensitive, unreliable, selfish.
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Women are so fragile, needy, indirect. He only cares about being with his friends. Why get so excited? She is too good for you. As soon as she gets to know you, she will reject you. As we shed light into our past, we quickly realize there are many early influences that have shaped our attachment pattern, our psychological defenses and our critical inner voice. All of these factors contribute to our relationship anxiety and can lead us to sabotage our love lives in many ways.
Listening to our inner critic and giving in to this anxiety can result in the following actions: Cling — When we feel anxious, our tendency may be to act desperate toward our partner. We may stop feeling like the independent, strong people we were when we entered the relationship.
As a result, we may find ourselves falling apart easily, acting jealous or insecure or no longer engaging in independent activities. Control — When we feel threatened, we may attempt to dominate or control our partner.
Anxiety and Romance: Managing Relationship Anxiety
This behavior can alienate our partner and breed resentment. Reject — If we feel worried about our relationship, one defense we may turn to is aloofness. We may become cold or rejecting to protect ourselves or to beat our partner to the punch.
These actions can be subtle or overt, yet it is almost always a sure way to force distance or to stir up insecurity in our partner. Withhold — Sometimes, as opposed to explicit rejection, we tend to withhold from our partner when we feel anxious or afraid.
Perhaps things have gotten close, and we feel stirred up, so we retreat.
We hold back little affections or give up on some aspect of our relationship altogether. Withholding may seem like a passive act, but it is one of the quietest killers of passion and attraction in a relationship. Punish — Sometimes, our response to our anxiety is more aggressive, and we actually punish, taking our feelings out on our partner.
Build your own interests — If you are putting all of your focus on a romantic relationship, chances are you are going to feel anxious.
People who have solid relationships with family and friends and put focus on their own personal goals and interests are likely to make better partners, and they are less likely to experience separation anxiety or uncertainty about the relationship.
Examine your thinking — Anxiety makes it difficult to objectively assess whether a worry is legitimate. Consider whether you need to work on managing your anxiety through healthy habits, communicate better with your partner, or address issues of concern in the relationship. Share your values — Sometimes people in relationships are so focused on making another person like them that they forget to speak up for their own values and needs.
The earlier you can set the precedent for sharing your needs in a relationship, the less likely you are to feel resentful. Avoiding is only a temporary solution, and it often ends in heated conflict. Set a standard for addressing issues head on in the relationship, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. How would your best version of yourself address this issue? Chances are, you already have an idea of how to improve the relationship and your own ability to manage anxiety.
Consider today whom you can recruit to help you manage your relationship anxiety.