TOP 25 QUOTES BY BILLY CONNOLLY (of ) | A-Z Quotes
Enjoy the best Billy Connolly Quotes at BrainyQuote. Quotations by Billy Connolly , Scottish Comedian, Born November 24, Share with your friends. To celebrate Billy Connolly turning 75 we compiled a list of the Big Yin's best jokes, “Honestly some folk will take offence at anything, I met a bloke with no legs this .. 25 of the greatest Absolutely Fabulous quotes, darling. It's quick and easy to create your Telegraph account; You will also be able to comment on articles, read a Premium article per week and sign up to our.
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So are victims of this kind of behaviour. They all say, "I wish I'd confronted him. Did he get to the point in his own mind where he could forgive his father?
I love his memory now, as much as I loved him when he was alive. It was disloyal of him to do that to me. But there were other facets of his character that were great. So you know, you've got to get over it, you've only one life to do it. But still, I kept thinking, if I'm still troubled by this, if I'm still carrying it around like a big rucksack full of bricks and my father's dead, I need someone to tell me how to get rid of this great weight, you know.
People used to tell him about Dudley Moore, how he lived in Hollywood and spent all his money on shrinks, and he'd go: What's wrong with you? You know, you're funny - get on with it! I felt so great. Then, after about eight weeks or so, I told him that I found myself trying to think up things to tell him on the way in the car. To make it a bit more interesting. He stood up and said, "You're cured! He likens the process to giving up alcohol: But actually I felt fitter and I thought I was better on stage after I'd stopped drinking.
So I started doing other things, too. I stopped smoking and I stopped eating meat. And all of a sudden I became this other guy. I had this inch waist. I have a picture at home and I have a leather suit on and my face is all sunk in, and I look like a cadaver. But it's a good thing to know you can change. It's mostly lost-leader syndrome. In many ways, Connolly invented or allowed a new kind of Scottishness, destroyed the shortbread-tin images: But he's hated by some now for having escaped that life; and he hates the Scottish press for judging him, for running front-page stories about his missing mum on Mother's Day, for telling him how he should live.
Connolly on the couch
He had, as Stephenson points out, already had more than enough people doing that for him by the time he was in his teens. When I mention the stand-off, Connolly looks wearied by it. It was becoming very uncomfortable for me. The negativity there felt like a disease, you know. His forthcoming movie, which premiered in Edinburgh, is a sub- Billy Elliot piece called Gabriel and Me. It tells the story of a family on Tyneside in which the father, unemployed and dying of cancer, takes all his frustrations out on his son.
The son it's slightly better than it sounds writes to the Angel Gabriel played by Connolly to see if he can join up with the celestial host. It was the childhood dream of getting above it all, flying above the city looking down, that I imagine struck a chord with Connolly. That's what I liked about that movie. I hate my country for the way it holds people back, tells them they're not good enough.
I hate the tabloid press for what it does to people. Never letting them be intelligent. There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing. You can see it in the obsession with so-called reality TV. It's donkeys watching fucking donkeys.
It's full of people who think you get bright by going to a gym. You know, we seem to have become a country where the highest ambition is to become a fucking television presenter or, worse, a children's television presenter.
Billy Connolly quotes and jokes
People who know so much about children that they think they like being shouted at. Autocue comedians, wearing glasses to look intelligent. I hate it, loathe it. Connolly rants, anger consumes him but the smile never quite leaves his face. More than the therapy, it is this, of course, that has kept him sane over the years.
And it is his rage, lovable and funny, that still makes his stage show a wonder. The previous night, this anger had been directed for two-and-a-half hours without a break at paedophile Catholic priests 'Who do they think they are - Michael Jackson?
Billy Connolly has never told jokes, he has just let off steam, and has enjoyed fabulously the process of doing it. Talking about the source of his humour, he says: But there are reasons for my attitudes. People ask me all the time, "Why are you still angry when you're loaded? But I like my anger. I've always found it comforting.
He used to think he might get the same feeling from films or TV or America, but he seems to have lost a bit of that ambition. He never writes a word of his comedy down and he can, by all accounts, do a run of nights in which he doesn't mention the same thing twice.
It's all on a sheet of foolscap. It is, too - as he well knows - Billy Connolly's one sure survival strategy: Stand-up and be counted Four fellow jokers on why the Big Yin is still king of the comedy pack Eddie Izzard Billy Connolly is the Moses of comedy who had Ten Commandments - each one being 'Thou shalt be very fucking funny.
He was about 10 to 15 years ahead of the scene in the UK. He influenced me hugely and I loved both his style of chatting personally to 2, people and of acting out scenes from stories. He was the first alternative stand-up comedian before there was a 'scene'. There was no one like him. He was playing characters on stage, ad-libbing and changing his material every time you saw him. I remember falling about on the floor watching Billy doing 'the incontinence knickers' sketch.
It was part of a larger piece about Sunday newspapers and the weird adverts they run for useless items. When he applied the idea of incontinence knickers to a 'trendy guy', and then mimed him tying drawstrings around the legs of the knickers, it became absolutely killingly funny. Jack Dee Billy is that very rare person who, on stage, can create an atmosphere of laughter around him.
He has a complete honesty about him and a fluency in comedy that makes the audience believe that he can translate anything into laughter for them. The more comedians you see the more you understand what a rare gift that is. Most British comedians take themselves terribly seriously, which suggests that they've failed to learn one of Connolly's greatest charms - his absolute refusal to do so. I remember seeing him on the Parkinson Show in the 70s and other odd clips from the telly of him in his banana shoes.
I think his shampoo sketch was the most memorable: Where I'm from that's the month before November. Then Connolly came in, tried on the scarf and said that he'd buy it. The shop owner said it was already spoken for and so Connolly left. Although it was far more expensive than I had thought, I bought it anyway because Billy Connolly had wanted it.
Fiona Allen I remember watching Billy Connolly as a kid, and being totally bemused by his clothes and hair - I thought he was a mime artist or something.
I loved his sketch about somebody knitting a balaclava for him, and him squinting because the eyeholes were in the wrong place! I laughed out loud and it made my belly ache. I was once introduced to him by a very boring guy at a party in Los Angeles.BILLY CONNOLLY - BEST JOKES EVER
I never actually spoke to Billy but was lumbered all night with the boring guy. I was really disappointed. I'm not a believer in people standing up on stage and copying other people and, anyway, nobody could ever imitate Billy Connolly.
Despite his dreadful dress sense, he is brilliantly funny. Patrick Kielty When I was 14 or 15 my dad and I listened to a tape of Billy Connolly and for the first time we both actually got the same joke.
The sketch was about how 'women demand things - more of this and not half as much of that - and whenever you've met all their demands they'll fucking run away, so stay awake! Connolly has that ability to swear in a very ingratiating way - it's never aggressive and always done with a twinkle in his eye.
Whereas lots of comedians go out on stage with set material and then go off on a tangent from time to time, Billy has a back catalogue so vast and a memory so good that he can be different every night.
People do portraits of you and send them to you. Most of them are horrendous.
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A guy even sent me a picture of me of a woman with my head. I must say, I was very attractive though. So not emotionally vulnerable? You say stupid things. Did you spout out something stupid in your green card interview? No, but the man said something strange to me. He gave me a little card to look at, his personal card. What did you say? He was very good to me.
He treated me well. Who or what makes you laugh? I find him extremely funny and bright. But most people make me laugh. The desire to be a comedian is weird. That was 50 years ago, so times have changed greatly. There seems to be a long line of people desperate to do it and most of them are quite good. Are you still writing new material? Do you carry a notebook?
No, I used to, but I just keep it in my head now. Let it get all mixed up. I look at a lot of people and their stuff sounds written. I tire of it quickly. I just go with the flow and talk.
It suits me lovely. Do you ever skip parts of your set act? Yeah, I do because I thought everybody did that. What kept you watching Stewart Lee?
I like how his brain works. I like his courage. What do you say when people ask you for advice about becoming a comedian? Just go and do it. Just get up and try it.