Psychology of love and hate relationship

Frontiers | The Deeper the Love, the Deeper the Hate | Psychology

psychology of love and hate relationship

They love and hate them—and that's normal. of psychological research: If we are thinking about something pleasant What these findings suggest to me is that this love/hate dynamic is a normal part of close relationships. Increasingly, empirical research has been carried out on the relationship between love and hate. However, traditional psychological theories. Social psychology has made great advancements in understanding how our romantic relationships function and to some extent, dissolve. However, the social .

Hate, within the context of a romantic relationship, arises mainly from a relational betrayal.

Psychology’s Love-Hate Relationship with Love: Critiques and Affirmations | Metanexus

Researchers have proposed a concept related to romantic hate, romantic jealousy, which describes the negative attitudes, anger, and fear associated with having a relationship partner Yoshimura, Love and hate are related to each other in a complex manner; the methodological approaches used by previous researchers have limited effectiveness in exploring the intricate relationship between love and hate.

In addition, there has been little research on the psychological mechanisms that could explain the interrelations between love and hate. Therefore, our study investigates how these two affects are related. To pursue such a research objective, one must consider how best to induce varying levels of feelings of love.

Previous studies have found that attraction is a crucial condition for the development of romantic love Cutler et al.

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Similarity, rather than complementarity, plays a key role in attraction Berscheid and Reis, ; Luo and Klohnen, ; Hudson et al. Many aspects of similarity have been studied in relation to attraction.

psychology of love and hate relationship

In the current study, we focused on similarity in ideologies. That is, persons with similar ideologies defined here in terms of values and interests tend to form longer lasting and more harmonious relationships Buunk and Bosman, ; Lemay and Clark, Ideological similarity also implies commonalities in behaviors which further contribute to mutual attraction in the context of romantic love Schafer and Keith, From this perspective, similarity may be a key factor that influences the degree of love.

In addition, researchers found that differences in excellence levels, such as those relating to ability and achievement, between partners would also be an important factor influencing romantic relationships Conroy-Beam et al.

In the present study, we manipulated the level of similarity and the level of excellence to induce different levels of love. That is, we concurrently varied the levels of similarity and excellence of different targets. We explored whether participants felt stronger love for a target who was more similar to themselves when the targets and participants were of the same level of excellence.

Psychology’s Love-Hate Relationship with Love: Critiques and Affirmations

Additionally, we were also interested in whether participants have different emotional reactions toward different target persons in the context of romantic love and hate. We examined two research questions in the current research.

First, would there be greater feelings of love between two persons if they were more similar to each other? In this study, we implemented a paradigm similar to what has been used in previous research Takahashi et al. The characters in the scenario included one protagonist and three targets.

psychology of love and hate relationship

Participants read the scenario and imagined that they were the protagonist and were in a romantic relationship with one of the target. We induced different levels of love by manipulating the degree of similarity e.

We also induced hate using vignettes that showed target persons betraying the protagonist, such as going on dates or having affairs with people of the opposite-sex. Materials and Methods Participants Sixty volunteers, recruited from different colleges, participated in the experiment. One participant had misunderstood the instructions and was thus excluded from the analyses. None of the participants reported any previous diagnoses of psychiatric or neurological illnesses.

Each participant had provided written informed consent prior to participating in the experiment. They were also given small tokens of appreciation for their participation.

Materials The vignettes used in the present experimental paradigm were adapted from a previous study that investigated the neural correlates of envy and schadenfreude Takahashi et al. The vignettes were modified to fit the present romantic love context, according to the previous definitions of love Hatfield and Sprecher, ; Schafer and Keith, The people in the vignettes included one protagonist and three targets i. Participants were asked to study and understand the vignettes thoroughly and to imagine themselves as the protagonist in the vignettes.

Target A was described as a person of equal level of excellence and high similarity to the protagonist, target B as equal level of excellence and low similarity to the protagonist, and target C as low level of excellence and low similarity to the protagonist target C.

See Supplementary Table S1 for details. The PLS is suitable for individuals who are and are not in a relationship, and for individuals who have never been in a romantic relationship Hatfield and Sprecher, ; Aron et al. The reliability and validity of this scale have been established in previous studies Hatfield and Sprecher, ; Fehr, ; Hendrick and Hendrick, ; Fehr and Russell, Procedures Learning Materials The experiment consisted of two parts.

We induced feelings of love toward the targets in the participants the protagonists in Part 1 Figure 1and feelings of hate toward the targets in Part 2 Figure 2. Part 1 consisted of three phases: This figure presents a schematic depiction of the stimuli and rating task design of Part 1 love. First, a fixation cross hair was presented for ms followed by the experimental stimuli Lover A, Lover B, and Lover C that were displayed for ms or until response.

psychology of love and hate relationship

The top line in each stimuli-containing rectangle indicated a target person, the middle line indicated the domain of comparison excellence and similarityand the bottom line indicated the specific traits in these two domains.

Part 2 consisted of two phases: This figure presents a schematic depiction of the stimuli and rating task design of Part 2 hate. Each trait was followed by a subsequent negative event, which was presented for ms or until response. The top line indicated a target person, and the bottom line indicated a negative event. The results showed that people who shared similar values and interests with the target persons were more likely to experience stronger love.

Fairytale no more: when love turns to hatefully ever after

Additionally, stronger feelings of love were associated with greater hate after the relationship was broken, suggesting a link between romantic love and hate. Our study revealed a complex picture of love and hate. People have different emotional reactions toward different target persons in the context of romantic love and hate.

If one loves someone deeply and sometimes hates that person, the feeling of love may still be dominant in the context of betrayal.

psychology of love and hate relationship

However, if one does not love that person, hate will be a much stronger feeling than love. Increasingly, empirical research has been carried out on the relationship between love and hate. However, traditional psychological theories have mainly focused on love, especially romantic love. Love has been defined as an action Swensen,attitude Rubin,experience Skolnick,and even as a prototypical emotion Fehr and Russell, ; Post, ; Sober, ; Wyschogrod, Collectively, these definitions suggest that love is a multi-faced phenomenon Ekman, ; Izard, ; Tomkins, Hate, within the context of a romantic relationship, arises mainly from a relational betrayal.

Researchers have proposed a concept related to romantic hate, romantic jealousy, which describes the negative attitudes, anger, and fear associated with having a relationship partner Yoshimura, Love and hate are related to each other in a complex manner; the methodological approaches used by previous researchers have limited effectiveness in exploring the intricate relationship between love and hate.

In addition, there has been little research on the psychological mechanisms that could explain the interrelations between love and hate. Therefore, our study investigates how these two affects are related.

To pursue such a research objective, one must consider how best to induce varying levels of feelings of love. Previous studies have found that attraction is a crucial condition for the development of romantic love Cutler et al. Similarity, rather than complementarity, plays a key role in attraction Berscheid and Reis, ; Luo and Klohnen, ; Hudson et al.

Likewise, if we are thinking about something unpleasant, we will be slower to categorize positive words and quicker for negative ones. Great, because here is where it gets interesting. Take a look at the graph below. The bars on the left side of the graph show the typical response using positive and negative objects, such as sunsets and spiders, where positive objects only affect positive target words and negative objects only affect negative target words.

Thus, people feel both positively and negatively toward those they love. This may not surprise you. Feeling negatively towards your partner does not mean that you are doing something wrong or that you are in the wrong relationship.

Why does this study matter? Much of our relationship rhetoric focuses on positive and negative as two ends of a spectrum—feeling more positively toward your partner means you feel less negatively toward them, and vice versa. Our feelings toward our partners can range wildly from moment to moment—and it seems that may just be part of the wild ride of sharing your life with another complex human being.

Instead, it seems we hold some positive views of these significant others, even as we profess our dislike of them—even if we may not be able to admit it at a conscious level. Not all bad feeling is bad for you Of course, there is such a thing as too much hate.